Thursday, April 7, 2011

Like Me.

I would never guess that where I currently work would put me in the position to meet so many women who use their bodies for business.

It's a unique situation that I've found myself in.

Everyday I meet at least one. Most of the time I get to speak with them and try to make eye contact but the walls are up. It's rough.
Most days I find myself stifling tears in the bathroom.
Oh this heart of mine, it smashes to pieces so easily it's almost frustrating.

Sometimes I can smell horrible things on them. Rail thin and often on a substance.
[I understand this is not how all of them are, I am not assuming anything. I understand that some are just trying to make a living and some are living with deep pain and apathy.]

Most of the time I want to ask them to dinner.
Get to know them, become friends.
Or hug them.

But yesterday was different.
She walked in and stood at the opening.
We made eye contact and she walked over.
"I don't know who to talk to."

I smiled and asked her what was wrong.
She didn't want the guy she was dating to know what she did for a living.
There was a long silence and she sighed.
"I don't want him to think I'm easy or trashy, I need to make a living."

I told her I understood. I encouraged her to be real.
If he doesn't treat her the way she deserves to be treated then he is not worth it.

She was made to be loved deeply and taken care of.

She said she was ashamed of what she did.
But quickly moved on in the conversation.

She just repeated herself and I softly smiled.
Other people walked in and she quickly ended the exchange and left.
"Thanks, girl."

She hasn't left my mind since.


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