Friday, April 15, 2011

I've never known.

The background music plays as the movie clips begin to roll.
I see us in a room with two chairs. One for You and one for me.
Facing each other.

I fight to keep the door shut from the outside. You sit and wait.

We're facing each other. Bent forward elbows on knees.
Eye to eye.

I honestly thought I never left the room.
But You've been alone in it for months.
I used to beg to be in this room, live here.
Never leave.

But I left.
I walked out.
And then became mad at Your response.
You didn't leave. You stayed alone in the room.

I wanted You to follow me out.

Sitting in front of You I realize.

Remembering I tried to find You in everything, everywhere except the room.
All the while You sit. And wait.

I lean forward to get closer to Your eyes.
I know they see right thru me.
Every bit. Nothing hidden. And I am not afraid anymore.

I beg You to tell me all the things I already know but had forgotten.
To remind me.
As if I had forgotten that You were in the room.

To be alone with You.
To be alone.
With You.

Remind me of love.
Remind me of the hope I had in love.
The glorious, delirious trust and madness I had for love.

I want to go back.
You taught me so well.
Because I was in front of You.
Always You. Always listening.

Craved for Your voice.

To be alone with You.
To be alone with You and me.

I'm sitting down now.
And there You are.

always there.


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