Saturday, July 4, 2009


Even tho I know I'm staying in this place for a long time I feel
this sick uneasy feeling of trying to figure out my next move.
I have to keep reminding myself that I can relax.
I can unpack. I can settle down.

Which is crazy to me at the moment.

The new apartment is calm and peaceful.
There is so much room for everything.

Many times a day I cry out in thankfulness.
It still hasn't hit me.

Do you ever have days or moments where you can literally feel the smile of God?
Like you can feel Him smiling at you?

Tonight I feel that.

It's been a crazy whirlwind of the past 8 months.
But I survived, I'm alive and here I am sitting on the floor of my empty
living room.

I'm hopeful for what tomorrow brings.
My family is coming to visit for the week.
They will see my life here, which I am most excited about.
I hope they will be proud of me.
I still feel like a small child a lot of the time.
I feel like I'm just a kid trying to figure this whole life thing out.

But I am hopeful.
Hopeful about the future.
And this blessed little house in the city.
I'm finally able to unpack.. my things, my heart.

I see good things ahead.
Even in the tragic moments that surround us daily,
I see hope and it's a good thing.