Thursday, September 4, 2008

free to leave.

the past week has been glorious and dramatic.
early last week my friend was stranded in Memphis TN so I made a middle of the night trip to get her.
I love traveling and do it whenever I have the chance. It was great to see her and hear what's going on in her life.

from months and months of set backs and years of waiting.. as of yesterday afternoon I can say that I am the humble owner of a brand new 08 Honda Civic. I can't believe this. It was so hard to accept. To just take this car.. everything paid in full and drive away with it. I felt immense guilt and frustration. After all the years praying for this very thing I now have.. I'm having a hard time accepting it.

I did NOTHING to get this car. I didn't do anything to DESERVE this. Nothing justifies me getting this car. And I feel helpless.
[don't get me wrong I am so incredibly thankful and forever grateful for this car]

In feeling this way I think I understand my salvation more. The seriousness of the price paid for me. That my salvation is a gift.
I knew that but I didn't KNOW it. Sometimes I feel so childish.

the cool news is that I am now free to leave the state. This car was the only thing holding me back from moving and now it's here.

I drove home last night tears streaming down and I felt freedom.

"you're free to leave."

life is changing and I don't have control of it.
haha like I ever had control in the first place...

::Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown::