Thursday, March 12, 2009

Even In The Little Things.

I stepped foot in this state and war was immediately declared.
Little did I know, of course.

I was talking with a good friend the other night. I was telling him what's been going on the last few weeks. He let out a laugh and said,
"It's crazy how much you are being tested. Ever since you moved here it's test after test after test."
I felt relief when he spoke that, finally someone else sees what's happening.
I'm not just going crazy or being a baby, I'm being pulled thru the ringer.

Today I was in rare form.
It was a hectic morning with down pouring rain and mean co-workers.
Many things weighed heavily on my mind as I ran errands this afternoon.
In an earlier conversation I felt like I wasn't being heard or even listened to.
There were a few situations where I felt completely helpless and overwhelmed.
It was as if life was rushing in on all sides and I had nothing to grab a hold of.

I get a phone call in the middle of this and I unleash the emotions building in my little heart.
My voice gets louder and louder as I recount the past weeks and the situations and the frustrations and it all just became too much.
Telling them if this is one big test I'm in then I failed miserably.
They listen and understand and give wisdom and tell me to pray.
My phone dies in the conversation. I look up in the mirror and all I could say was, "God, please."

I was still in the car so I got out and ran my last few errands.
I felt raw and sad. I wanted to get something good to eat, go home, watch a movie and sleep.
I was debating about getting something to eat because I was running low on cash.
I went ahead & popped into Chipotle. The line was long and it was hard to hear the people behind the counter.
I order my burrito of goodness and saw that the guy at the register was one of my regular costumers at Starbucks.
I must of looked like a hot mess because he looked at me with concerned eyes.
He smiled and handed me my food without charging me.

I was taken back. Wait.. what?
Tears swirled in my eyes as I walked out the door to my car.


Don't you see how much I love you? I will always provide for you, even in the little things. Do not worry, I am here. It's going to be alright.



He is here.
Always here.
My heart is at rest.

..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Precious one, oh how HE loves you! I love to hear stories where God meets us unexpectedly. Stay close to him, he will never leave you or forsake you. In fact he loves you so much that he is directing your steps to put you in the right place at the right time. No matter what we go through, he see to it that we go through it! Miss you bunches and more! Much love, Mom