I was born into war.

Every thought a battle. Every choice waiting for me in eternity.
Every word hanging in the balance of my not-so-distant future.
Every action creating rippling affects.

My heart is a bleeding mess.
I'm on the front lines as I watch my 'friends' retreat.
What am I really fighting for?
Do I have the right weapons?
I just want peace.

I heard it said that once we realize we were born into war we will be able to handle life more effectively day to day.
Because everything is a battle.
right and wrong.
good and evil.
Love and hate.

Something is battling for my heart. My mind. My time. My life.
And I want to be effective in these times.
I want to stand for something & not give in.

I must realize that I'm not fighting against you.
Because the fight was never between me and you.
[We were created to be one together, you know]
It's that part that we were all born with.
The part that makes you mock me. The part that wants you to cut me a cheap deal.
The part that whispers, no one is looking.

We all have that part inside us. Some hide it better then others.

I've begun to wake up every morning being grateful my eyes opened.
That there is air in my lungs.
My fight still continues.

I'm very tired. Emotionally tired.
Love hurts. It cuts deep.
But it's worth it.

I'm fighting for you to see.
To see Love as He truly is.
Not some unrealistic idea who is distant and cold.
But something that changes hearts.
Love that gives purpose to these battles.
That comes along side & gives hope and courage in the dark days.
Because there are many dark days and many who have no hope.

When the battle seems too gruesome and the blood has drenched your clothes.
And the white flag of surrender seems like the only comforting friend...
just remember that we win.

yes, we win.

the hill of victory is just ahead.
And I want you standing beside me on that day.
don't give up. don't think otherwise. rescue is on His way.

..