Nothing Like.

I am home.
For just a moment.

I have so much to say right now.
But I don't feel like I need to write them.
I feel like they have already been heard.
Not on earth but up in the realms of the holies.

I am so grateful for this life given me.
There is so much I do not deserve.
I still don't understand a lot.
There is still a lot to be discovered.
There are still many things to overcome.
Things to face down and victories to be won.

But right now I am a child in my parent's house.
A sister to my brother. A friend to the friendless.
An important part of this family.
A designed component to this world.
A lover of Jesus.

so this weekend I will take pictures, laugh loudly,
give and receive love and etch this moment in my heart for a long time.



Because, right now, this is all we have.


..

I love.

This beautiful girl is my Mom.



I love that I look like her.
I love that she's my mom.
I love that she loves Jesus.
I love that she is kind.
I love that she is merciful.
I love that she is understanding.
I love that she trys to understand me when I'm not making sense.
I love that even tho we disagree she still loves me & answers me softly.
I love that she answers my calls when she's at work.
I love that she asks, "how can I help you?" even tho I'm a thousand miles away.
I love that she crys easily.
I love to hear that she wanted me born.
I love that we laugh when we're together.
I love that she's not only my mom but a friend.


..

Somehow.

I recently just woke up.
I fell asleep at 7:30pm.
& I feel extremely at peace.

This is a miracle.

The past few weeks have been a struggle.
No sleep, no rest, no calm, no time to think.
Always thinking, always on the go, always always always...

I wake up in the morning and my body is sore, my muscles ache.
My eyes are so heavy all the time.

The 'feeling' of numbness has still lingered the past few days.
Until tonight.

I didn't even mean to fall asleep that early tonight.
I was on my computer and then the next thing I know I'm waking up.
The house is quiet and the song Dark but Lovely by Sarah Edwards* is playing.
I feel in the middle of resting and deep sleep.
But mostly I feel overwhelming peace.

I feel precious and tiny. You know that feeling of being so unnoticed but incredibly significant at the same time?
I feel comfort.
I feel surrounded.
I feel rest coming.

I feel Jesus.

I believe that He woke me up just to tell me He's here.
He's come to bring rest and comfort. To bring my heart peace.

but I really believe that I'm suppose to tell you He wants to bring you peace.
He wants to be with you.
It doesn't matter what's going on.
It only matters how you respond to Him in this moment.

I want to capture this moment forever, being in the company of Him.

Life is hard. But this is easy.
Resting in Him. Nothing else matters right now.

You've been thru so much. You've endured heartache and trouble.
Rest now, quiet down. Feel Him move in and wash away the wreckage.

Drown me now Lord in this moment in my room.
Soak me in Your presence.



*This God who is holy, perfect in beauty.
Awesome in glory, is ravished but my heart.

Though I’m poor you say I am lovely
Though I’m dark you say I am beautiful

Somehow my weak glance has overwhelmed You
And somehow my weak love it has stolen away Your heart.


..